The Human Centipede (First Sequence) has a strange plot to summarise. There's no real protagonist and there's not a detailed enough plot to last an entire paragraph. I guess our main two characters are Lindsay (Ashley C. Williams) and Jenny (Ashlynn Yennie), two American tourists travelling throughout Europe. If films have taught us anything, it's that you should never travel Europe as bad things always seem to happen, and, obviously, bad things happen here. After popping a tire, they're forced to knock on the front doors of a surgeon named Dr. Heiter (Dieter Laser), who just so happens to be a human-hating psychopath. He drugs them, ties them up in his basement and, um, that's when things get a little weird. He..... he kinda.... he does.... he starts to..... well, basically, he surgically connects three different people, stitching up one person's mouth to another person's ass. Yeah..... it's not a pleasant sight.
We're treated to a solid hour of this creation and it's not at all fun. It's like last year's Tusk, but a whole lot worse. They try to escape, they try to fight back, they try to scream for help. Nothing works. They're forced to walk around like an animal, fetching newspapers and casually strolling around in circles, and then of course someone has to take a shit and we all know how that's going to go down. It's a dumb movie with absolutely no substance whatsoever and I can't say I'd recommend it, even for people just wanting a gory time. It's not worth it, gore junkies. It's not worth it.
As soon as the first character opened their mouth and spoke, I wanted to turn the movie off. That's how bad the acting is. You don't know anything about these characters, not even their names. I didn't know anybody's names until I looked up the movie on IMDb. The performances are more cringe worthy than the imagery presented in this movie, and it doesn't help with you have dialogue as utterly mind numbing as "the Japanese possess unbelievable strength when backed into a corner!" It's line like this that made me thankful when they finally become the human centipede as they actually shut up.