Geostorm is bad. I remember that much. It’s been advertised as a Day After Tomorrow-esque disaster film with more of a sci-fi spin, where a device capable to controlling the whether and subduing natural disasters goes horribly awry. Instead of removing the problem, it creates one, burning down hell upon Earth and risking the end of the world as we know it. In reality, this isn’t true. The advertisements have been false. All natural disaster elements of this film don’t even happen until well into the third act, with the exception of two brief sequences used to build suspense within the plot (despite both remaining unresolved).
It’s not a race against the clock to escape natural disasters and find a stop to it, as one might’ve expected when walking into this film, but instead it’s a race against the clock to ensure these disasters don’t start. Obviously, for anybody who’s seen the trailer or the poster, they do, and that’s when the film really kicks into gear. The first two acts are a slow, tedious political thriller in space, and it’s not nearly as exciting as something like that would have the potential to be. Pacing is non-existent, characterization even less so. Plot information is jammed down your throat at 100 miles per hour, and if you fall behind or forget everything, you’re not alone.
Or at least that’s until the finale kicks into gear. Ridiculous as it may be, there’s a lot of fun to be had once shit starts hitting the fan. The visual effects are impressive for the most part, even with the odd bit of cartoony graphics here and there, and they’re able to overshadow the film’s numbing performances and melodramatic writing. A sequence with an exploding drainpipe throughout Asia is probably the most fun element of the film, even though the filmmakers, for some reason, try to make that character a prominent focus for a little while after, all before giving up and returning to our actual protagonists (as one-dimensional as they may be).
Maybe this film is actually amazing. The studios behind it didn’t hold critic screenings, which is never a good sign, but perhaps, since I can’t really remember what 100% did or didn’t happen in this film, it’s secretly brilliant. I’ll never know. And quite frankly, even if somebody paid me to, I don’t know if I’d want to sit through this again to find out.
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