Monster Trucks follows the story of Tripp (Lucas Til), a supposed teenager who isn’t actually mentioned to be any particular age, yet looks to be at least 30. This, of course, leads me to believe he’s been held back at school, presumably due to lack of intelligence. But disregarding all that, he’s still the protagonist, and one day, Tripp comes across a prehistoric, ugly as fuck water monster he names Creech. And as fate goes, the two become the best of friends, because plot. Unfortunately, yet unsurprisingly, big baddies (like three of them) are also coming after Creech for selfish, money-centered reasons. Tripp and Creech, with the help of awkward 27-year-old teenager turned love interest Meredith (Jane Levy), must harness the power of old trucks to race their way to freedom and fight for survival.
Let’s just talk about the monster itself for a second here. That has to be the single most disgusting, terrifying and unlikeable blob of existence ever put to film. It makes the Rancor from Return of the Jedi look like Margot Robbie. When Tripp first discovers Creech, or more appropriately when Creech first tries to perform some sort of PG variation of Hentai on Tripp, he’s disgusted, as he should be. He tries to kill it, but moments before Creech can be squashed to death, something I actually would’ve liked to have seen, Tripp saves him. He falls in love, a wonderful friendship beginning to blossom. Kill me now.
For a kid’s movie, there sure is a lot of murdering. I’m not talking about ‘ha ha this guy fell down somewhere’ being played for laughs, I’m talking straight up throwing a guy into a tub of poison and watching as it bursts all over his body while he screams in intense agony before dying off-screen. Not even Quentin Tarantino managed to go that dark when it came to his latest film, The Hateful Eight. Plus, that’s not even the only death. Everyone is trying to murder everyone, never any regard for human life. Even during one of the chase sequences through the city, cars are being hit, flipped and knocked off the road, and it’s laughed off. Are we just going to ignore that they put countless people in the hospital with potentially life altering, if not life ending injuries?
To sum up, Monster Trucks is one truly awful movie. It’s mildly entertaining in that it’s so bad it’s hilarious, and the visual effects are shockingly okay, but the writing, acting and overall plot is the work of the devil. I’m not really religious, but may God help us all…
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