If you think that a film so wild, ridiculous and off the charts bonkers is for you, you may think differently after seeing Stretch. I did. The film follows the story of Stretch (Patrick Wilson), a limo driver who's just shit out of luck. His girlfriend (Brooklyn Decker), who he thought was 'the one,' has just broken up with him, he's loosing customers frequently to a rival limo company and to top it all off, he owes a rather large gambling debt by midnight, money he doesn't have. Enter Roger Karos (Chris Pine), a somewhat psychotic customer who offers to pay off Stretch's gambling debts if he does everything he's told throughout the night.
I was actually looking forward to Stretch, despite not really knowing a lot about it. The trailers were hesitant, but fun, and the word of mouth was positive, even from a friend of mine. I sat down in my lovingly comfortable chair (wait, can a chair be both loving and comfortable) navigated my way through the Netflix homepage and clicked eagerly on the poster for Stretch (which, if you have Netflix, you'll know plays the movie). And so the film started. The credits were rolling, Jessica Alba popped up on screen, there were a couple of neat cameos, a few suicide jokes and a sex scene all before the plot is actually set up. That's when it hit me! Stretch is really not as entertaining as it was made out to be.
The performances are nuts, but the rest of the film isn't. The cast, and Stretch does have a rather brilliant cast (minus Jessica Alba, although even she isn't actually all that bad), are having fun with their roles. Who wouldn't be? This film has everything, yet nothing to do with any of it. Although everyone appears to be having a ball, Chris Pine especially, they all get lost in the wildness, making an uneven, exaggerated and highly mind numbing movie that didn't have me laughing until the end of the third act, but even then it wasn't that big a chuckle.
Stretch is fast, short and wraps up nicely, but that's it. It clocks in at a nice ninety minutes, making the film whizz by, which is an incredibly good thing seeings as how it's not a very good movie. There's a lot happening, sure, but none of it makes sense. Some of it appears to work, but once the credits role you realise how utterly stupid everything in the film really was. Hey, I'll give them credit for at least trying to mask the stupidity.
Ed Helms appears in this film on more than one occasion, yet I never bought into his presence. I liked Ed Helms in the Hangover trilogy, but in everything else I've seen him in he's always overacting and unlikeable. Stretch is included. His character doesn't suit the film, him being some sort of apparition as, and this isn't a spoiler, he dies within the first few minutes of movie. His character makes no sense, has no relevance, and was bloody annoying.
And finally, Patrick Wilson is always providing us with a constant narration, a narration that rarely ever works. For the first scene, which showcases how he first met his girlfriend, this voice over worked. It was fun and set the vibe of things to come. Then the film just went on and on and the narration added to the overall convoluted-ness of the film. It will initially seem to make sense of things, but it then leaves you wondering how the hell we actually got to where we are, and also why Chris Pine hasn't yet put on some pants.
To sum up, Stretch may have some crazy performances and it's pleasantly over the top and ridiculous, but in doing so it becomes overly convoluted, uneven, unfunny and just a giant mess.
2 1/2 Stars