I was actually looking forward to Stretch, despite not really knowing a lot about it. The trailers were hesitant, but fun, and the word of mouth was positive, even from a friend of mine. I sat down in my lovingly comfortable chair (wait, can a chair be both loving and comfortable) navigated my way through the Netflix homepage and clicked eagerly on the poster for Stretch (which, if you have Netflix, you'll know plays the movie). And so the film started. The credits were rolling, Jessica Alba popped up on screen, there were a couple of neat cameos, a few suicide jokes and a sex scene all before the plot is actually set up. That's when it hit me! Stretch is really not as entertaining as it was made out to be.
Stretch is fast, short and wraps up nicely, but that's it. It clocks in at a nice ninety minutes, making the film whizz by, which is an incredibly good thing seeings as how it's not a very good movie. There's a lot happening, sure, but none of it makes sense. Some of it appears to work, but once the credits role you realise how utterly stupid everything in the film really was. Hey, I'll give them credit for at least trying to mask the stupidity.
And finally, Patrick Wilson is always providing us with a constant narration, a narration that rarely ever works. For the first scene, which showcases how he first met his girlfriend, this voice over worked. It was fun and set the vibe of things to come. Then the film just went on and on and the narration added to the overall convoluted-ness of the film. It will initially seem to make sense of things, but it then leaves you wondering how the hell we actually got to where we are, and also why Chris Pine hasn't yet put on some pants.