Every year, there are good films and there are bad films. In 2015, there were plenty of both. Before I list my top 15 films of the year tomorrow, I must first get the bad ones out of the way. It's time to list the films I just absolutely despised, and there were plenty of them. I gave 7 different films one star this year, and the other three on this list received either one and a half stars or just a half star. But, since this list is only 10, there will be dishonourable mentions, none of which are in an particular order.
The dishonourable mentions are: Joy, Daddy's Home, We Are Your Friends, Vacation, Poltergeist and The Gunman. All terrible movies, but not terrible enough to make it onto my list. I will also have to inform you that I did not see every film released in 2015 and so there are plenty of films that I deliberately went out of my way not to watch. No, Pixels and Hot Pursuit won't be appearing on this list. I didn't see them. Now that that's out of the way, it's time to get into this list. Nothing like bringing back painful memories.
Hitman: Agent 47, like another film on this list, is a movie I went out of exhausted. I just didn't care for it. I didn't have the effort or will to write a review for it. Unlike the other film on this list, I did somehow managed to put my thoughts into words. It's a film so lazy and unoriginal that it's deserving of the 10th spot just so we can move on. There's no need to keep spending time on this forgettable piece of shit that didn't affect my life in the slightest. It happened, I didn't care for it, we move on. READ MY REVIEW HERE
Because of the popularity of teen franchises such as Harry Potter and Twilight, it seems every teen novel is getting a big screen adaptation, and while I didn't necessarily hate the first Divergent movie, the follow up, Insurgent, is an awful movie. It's a followup that doesn't even seem to care about the source material or the expectations of fans. It's nonsensical and dull, none of the actors want to be there and none of the audience members want to be either. We're only halfway through this franchise. May god have mercy on our souls. READ MY REVIEW HERE
For what it was, I enjoyed the first Woman in Black movie. It's nothing mind blowing, but it had some solid scares and some great performances. As for The Woman in Black 2: Angel of Death, the film is pretty freaking awful. It's a film so bad that I didn't even review it. It didn't deserve to have words written about it. It's a film so poor that at one point, just for fun, I decided to change the language of the film to a dub and watch without subtitles. I don't regret doing that. I don't regret it one bit.
I do not like movies with Kevin Hart in them. Wait, no. I'll rephrase that. I do not like movies where Kevin Hart is the star. Movies like Top Five and This Is The End are fine, but that is because he's more of a cameo than a major role. As for films like Get Hard and Ride Along, I despise them. Not even Will Ferrell, who is the film's only source of comedy, could save this god-awful experience that is essentially 90 minutes of unfunny rape jokes. The cast are charismatic, but their charisma is never put to use. This film was doomed from the moment it started. READ MY REVIEW HERE
Johnny Depp, stop. You gave one of the best performances of the year in Black Mass and with Mortdecai, you also gave one of the worst. This film could've been so much fun, but it was far from it. It's a play on British spy films and it just fails so so so badly. If you're trying to do something like this, do it more like Kingsman. That film was brilliant. Mortdecai, on the other hand, wasn't. When Johnny Depp and Paul Bettany team up, nobody is safe from the disasters they've produced. Also, why is Jeff Goldblum in this movie? He's so much better than this. READ MY REVIEW HERE
He's the seventh son of the seventh son.... or something like that. Blah blah blah who cares? This movie was one big pile of CGI dogshit, and it somehow managed to blackmail a-list celebrities into being in the movie. Julianne Moore, you just won an Oscar. You don't need to be putting films like Seventh Son onto your resume. As for Jeff Bridges, that man has always been strange so who really knows what's happening when he decides on what movie to make. The dude does not abide with this one. READ MY REVIEW HERE
I don't honestly remember how many Paranormal Activity movies there have been so far. Was it five? Or six? Or maybe seven? Does The Marked Ones count? Does that weird Tokyo one that nobody saw count as well? I don't really know, but no matter how many crappy instalments there are in this franchise, apparently it's come to an end. Thank god. Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension is the worst one yet, and while showing the ghost for the first time seemed like a good idea in theory, when you see it on screen it's hard to resist laughing out loud and killing the mood for everyone else.... not that anyone saw this movie and those who did hated it. READ MY REVIEW HERE
Despite many stories of this film's troubled production, I remained hopeful. I loved Chronicle, Josh Trank's previous directorial outing, and I was a fan of this film's advertising. It had me intrigued, my expectations not as low as I thought they would be. Then I saw the film, and boy is it terrible. The painfully slow paced first half is not too awful. It's not good, either, but I could get what they were going for. It wasn't Fantastic Four, it was a body horror movie. A dull one, but one nonetheless. Then the second half happened, and I honestly don't know what the hell I watched. It's an absolute mess, the studio clearly taking over and letting all hell loose. This film was a disaster, and the more I discuss it with my friends, the worse it gets. It's a two star film in the moment that's a one star movie after you let it digest. READ MY REVIEW HERE
There are good films, there are bad films, and then there's Taken 3. If it weren't for Liam Neeson, Taken 3 would be a half star movie. It's a movie so bad that my eyes physically hurt once it was over. Halfway through this movie, I had to look over at the wall in the cinema because the film had so many cuts every second. Did this movie even have a villain? I can't remember. He was probably shirtless and covered in tattoos, wasn't he? Knew it. Everyone in this film was in it for the money. Nobody was here because they legitimately wanted to be there. Goddamn, this film sucked. READ MY REVIEW HERE
And to nobody's surprise, my least favourite film of 2015 was, of course, Fifty Shades Of Grey. What started as a Twilight fan fiction has since become a global phenomenon, and for all the wrong reasons. It's a story of abuse and sex, misrepresenting the BDSM community (they're not happy about it...) and, well, human beings in general. If you are a human being, this film should insult you. That's how bad it is. It's films like this that are so bad that it makes you stop and think for a moment, 'hey, that one shot is lit better than I expected it to be. I mean, everything else looks like utter crap, but that one shot looks nice.' At least this film had the funniest scene of 2015 and that scene involves, a bed, some toast and no shirts. READ MY REVIEW HERE